Merry Christmas 2008

Christmas 2008 has come and gone, but the memories will linger on! It has been awhile since we have had the joyful laughter of little children eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus, but this year we counted down with Taisley and watched her excitement grow as we moved day-by-day closer to Christmas Day. We watched Kendi struggle to decide where she would spend her Christmas Day - with her mom and sister here at home or with her dad and cousins in a mountain cabin at Fish Lake. Grandma Doris struggled, too, with that decision. Should she stay home in Corona, CA with her memories or come to St. George to share the holiday with family making new memories? During this relatively quiet holiday, we had a little snow, several holiday parties, a lot of mall time and saw Stacy, Taisley, Kendi, Grandma Doris, Kaytee, Josh and Adyn; Allysa and Josh and Whitney. At the same time, we greatly missed Larry, David, Kris, Kelly and Michael, who could not be with us because of winter weather, economics or job responsibilities. During this holiday season, we ate too much, spent too much and watched way more than our share of those two-hanky holiday movies on FaLaLa Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel. All-in-all, it was not the most memorable Christmas we have ever had, but it was nice, quiet and friendly.

Side note: I did not make my "famous" Ribbon Jello Salad for Christmas dinner (which no one ever eats anyway). As a result, Stacy believes she will need to spend time with a therapist to work through her disappointment.

Here's a little poem which I thought fit our family circumstances exactly:

WE WON'T HAVE A CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR
by Verna Teeuwissen

We won't have a Christmas this year, you say
For now the children have all gone away.
The house is so lonely, so quiet, so bare
We can't have a Christmas without them to share.

We won't have a Christmas this year, you sigh
For Christmas means things which money must buy.
Misfortunes and illness have robbed us, we fear
Of the things that we'd need to make Christmas this year.

We won't have a Christmas this year, you weep
For a loved one is gone and our grief is too deep.
It will be a long time before our hearts will heal,
And the spirit of Christmas again we will feel.

But if you lose Christmas when troubles befall,
You never have really had Christmas at all.
For once you have had it, it cannot depart
Since the true meaning of Christmas is Christ in your heart.

Speaking of Snow . . .

My brother Larry has been planning for sometime to fly to LA to pick up Grandma Doris, then drive up to St. George for Christmas . . . but, Mother Nature had other plans! The biggest snow storm to hit Seattle since 1861 has brought the city to a virtual standstill without public transportation or mail service. Most of Seattle is unable to get to work or to other essential destinations (like the grocery store). Larry, who is on vacation until January 5, had originally planned to fly out on Sunday afternoon, but upon realizing that was probably not going to happen, he rescheduled his flight for Tuesday morning . . . at a cost for the change of $175! On Monday morning, the Seattle Airport was closed, leaving thousands of travelers stranded. Today Larry - in desperation - doned his heaviest coat and most trustworthy shoes and headed down the very steep hill from his condo to the nearest grocery store - a trek of about 1.5 miles one way which took him more than an hour to get there and an hour back for bread, milk and eggs! We will certainly miss his humor and interesting conversation (just as long as you keep him off the subject of politics) around our Christmas dinner table and we hope his cute little red Crossfire will soon be thawed out! In the meantime, Larry has no sympathy for us in southern Utah who got dusted - not dumped on - last week!

Dashing Thru the Snow . . .

Someone somewhere in southern Utah must have been "dreaming of a white Christmas" because on Wednesday, December 17, 2008 the sky darkened, the temperature dropped and it began to snow in Las Vegas, Nevada - which was so unusual it was the lead story on Thursday morning's "Today" Show. But the real news in St. George was that we had snow, too. We only got about 3-5 inches and it was heavy, wet and mostly gone by Thursday afternoon, but it was enough to close the schools throughout the district - not because it snowed but because the city has no snow removal equipment. In all the years we have lived in St. George we have only seen measurable snow - enough to close the schools - three times (I only remember two, but Kaytee swears there was a school closure when she was a kid). The first time was in January 1979, the first winter we lived here. We had just moved from Salt Lake and our kids thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard of to have a "snow day" with only 3 inches of snow. Thirty years later Kendi and Taisley woke up today to the news school had been cancelled. Tomorrow will be "business as usual" but for today, they enjoyed the opportunity to make snowmen and pelt each other in a good natured snowball fight. One week before Christmas, the girls made some good memories together!

Grandpa's Waffles

"Please can we have waffles, Grandpa," said a chorus of visiting grandchildren over the recent Thanksgiving weekend. "We love your waffles!"

"Wait just a minute," chimed in Grandma who was standing nearby. "Those aren’t Grandpa’s waffles . . . they’re waffles made from Grandma’s recipe which makes them Grandma’s waffles. Grandpa just adds an egg and a little bit of water! It’s the exact same waffle if I make them or if Grandpa makes them, so why are they Grandpa's Waffles?"

With his legendary quick wit, 13-year-old Zachary considered that for a minute then said, "Maybe so, but between yours and Grandpa’s, his is always going to be better!" We all howled with laughter then enjoyed breakfast together!

Here’s the now famous recipe for Grandpa’s Waffles (made by Grandma):

20 cups of white flour
2 ½ cups of powdered milk
3/4 cup of baking powder
½ cup of sugar
2 T. of salt
2 T. Cream of Tartar
2 lb. vegetable shortening (about 2/3 of a can)

Blend by hand to a fine mix which resembles Bisquick (but tastes so much better). When its time to make waffles (or pancakes) just add an egg and water to 1-2 cups of mix and pour into your heated waffle iron.

The Worst Thanksgiving Ever!

Late night TV talk show host David Letterman said it best: "The holidays with my family are like a Taliban civil war with egg nog!"

Kris and her family arrived from Sonoma on Wednesday evening. Kelly, Gary and Whitney arrived later in the evening from Salt Lake City. Stacy and Kaytee were already offended that Grandma had planned a birthday party on Wednesday evening for Tylre (Nov. 22), Gary (Nov. 26) and Whitney (Dec. 1) but had not included Allysa. Our oldest granddaughter's birthday is December 6, but she lives here. After a week of preparation, the party was cancelled so no one would be offended. On Thursday morning everyone gathered for "the festivities" but within what seemed like minutes of our getting together, Kris had already been offended by not finding her picture on my kitchen calender (despite, she said, sending us many pictures thoughout the year which neither her dad nor I recall receiving). Then the sparks REALLY flew over a comment Kelly made about people on welfare. Immediately after dinner Kris left to go back to Kaytee’s and remained there for two days! Stacy was also noticeably absent, choosing to spend her time after work with Kris. 6-year old Taisley was offended when Grandma hugged EJ "first." Whitney was offended when Kris asked her to take the kids to Fiesta Fun . . . then was even more offended when Kris asked her to take Zac home and she had to come back for him. Kendi was offended because her dad didn't call to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving though she didn't call him either. Kaytee was offended by Kelly’s remark that she hoped to see more of Adyn before the baby graduated from high school. Dad and I were offended to hear Stacy had passed all this ugliness along to Michael and Kris took delight in telling us Kelly had several new large tatoos. Needless to say, when the sparks flew they were not the kind of fireworks we had hoped for so I put in earplugs - which offended everybody - and eventually retreated into the bedroom.

These happy pictures of my beautiful family do not tell the true story. This was perhaps the worst Thanksgiving of my adult life! The awful feelings I experienced were reminiscent of dozens of holidays I have spent with my mother and my Grandpa Bradford (I have heard enough family stories to know his father was a real piece of work, too!!!) where everyone tip-toed around to avoid saying anything which might set either of them off. My grandfather used to always promise to participate in family holiday celebrations, but at the last minute, he would back out or stomp out because of something someone had said. No matter that it was an innocent comment . . . he took offense. I have prayed for my whole lifetime that this Bradford Curse would miss my family . . . but, try as I might I cannot make everyone happy, nor can I prevent someone - usually every someone - from being offended in one way or another. It is a pervasive problem and it is literally destroying our family!!!

So I went to the scriptures. In Doctrine and Covenants 42:88 the Savior told his disciples "if thy (brother or) sister offend thee, thou shalt take (him or) her between (him or) her and thee alone . . . that ye might be reconciled." In Romans 16:17, the Apostle Paul taught, "that which causes divisions and offenses (is) contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned. Avoid them!" I also found a great story which illustrates the problem in another way! A man saved his money for many years and made many sacrifices to purchase an expensive luxury car. Finally the day arrived when he had enough money to purchase it. When he was driving his beautiful new car home, his excitement was interrupted by a thump-thump-thump. He pulled over to the side of the road and discovered a flat tire. "I can’t believe this," he cried as he slammed the car door. "I spent all this money . . . and for what?"

Without a moment of hesitation, he pulled out a can of gasoline from the trunk, doused the car, and ignited a fire which obliterated the beautiful new luxury car. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Who would destroy a fine car because of one minor problem? Yet many of us allow the little things in any relationship - some we have nurtured for years - to go up in flames because of one careless - often innocent - remark.

Elder Marion D. Hanks asked, "What is our response when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly and unkindly treated or when we have been falsely accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? Do we resent? Become bitter? Hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem so we can forgive and rid ourselves of the burden? The nature of our response to such situations may well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and into the eternities."

My brother and I are as different as any two siblings could possibly be, yet I count him as one of my very best friends. When it comes to politics or religion, we have long since agreed to disagree, but I love him and, I believe, he loves me! Have I offended him through the years? Probably many times. Has he offended me? You dang betcha, but he is my only brother and I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

And so, my beautiful daughters, after all is said and done . . . you are sisters, but your anger is eating you alive and is impacting your children in many, very negative ways. I know each of you is struggling with very serious personal issues so it seems logical to me you would find strength by leaning on each other in these difficult times. No little difference of opinion should be important enough to destroy your families and drive a wedge between you!!! As your mother, I am begging you . . . please find a way to re-build (or build) a relationship; and, please, please, please . . . stop taking offense!!!

Dad Beats the Odds

Dad says, "On this beautiful November afternoon in Dixie I found a very happy ball at the bottom of the cup on the 8th hole at Southgate Golf Course. It only took one stroke to get the ball in the hole. Yes, I now have my first hole-in-one. Many golfers go a lifetime without even coming close and it only took me 67 years. I was golfing with Ray Odell and two others and we all witnessed a 120-yard shot over the sand trap take one bounce and into the hole. We all turned to each other and said 'did you see what I saw?' and then the high fives began. I had to buy four Cokes so I sure am happy it didn't happen on Men's Day at Green Springs. It could have cost me $100+. I have a call into FedEx Kinko's to see if they would like me to star in a commercial. Just think . . . this could mean millions in interviews and product endorsements."

What are the odds? Golf Digest reports, "One insurance company puts the chance of a PGA Tour pro scoring a hole-in-one at 1 in 3,756. For an amateur, the possibility of getting that little white ball in the cup with one swing is 1 in 12,750!!!"

Catching Up on (3 1/2 month) Old News

Traditionally we would have been up on a mountain top doing arts and crafts, roasting marshmallows and enjoying mystery trips on the week of Utah’s July 24th Pioneer Day, but Kaytee’s first baby was due on July 16. Because of the pending birth, we decided it was more important to stay close to home, so for the first time in 7 years we cancelled Cuz’N Camp which usually involves six cousins, grandparents and Aunt Kaytee. Our precious and beautiful 8th granddaughter Adyn Postma was born on Tuesday, July 8 in St. George weighing in at an even 7 lbs. (see more about Adyn,including lots and lots of pictures at http://www.joshloveskaytee.blogspot.com)/). As it turns out, we actually had a Cuz’N Camp of sorts, though it was completely unplanned and absolutely spontaneous. Tylre had been in Utah for several weeks visiting her father. Stacy had planned a trip to visit Kris, so Tylre and Zac had come to St. George and were waiting for Stacy to finish her work week so she, Kendi, Taisley, Allysa and Kris’ kids could all drive to Sonoma. Unbeknownst to all of us, Whitney was also in town visiting her dad. So when Adyn came into the world healthy and whole at 11:10 a.m., six of her eleven cousins were there to welcome her! We surprised everyone by gathering them all together and visiting Aunt Kaytee and Adyn at the hospital. Now THAT was a mystery trip the cousins will not soon forget. No question, Adyn is the youngest of our 12 grandchildren to ever attend Cuz’N Camp, though she didn’t get a t-shirt. If there had been a t-shirt, 2008 would have been called Camp Serendipity!

Catching Up on Old News: Saying Goodbye to Phil

Several family members have asked about the memorial service for Phil Sappington held mid-September in Kona, Hawaii. Uncle Phil had lived there for many years and had a great many friends who showed up to say goodbye! Hosted by his partner John Pelanconi, it was a lovely catered affair, including a display of Phil’s art work.

Born August 2, 1946 in Idaho Falls, ID to Philip Scott and Mina Ann Western Sappington, Philip died July 10, 2008 in Kailua, Kona of lymphoma. A lifelong learner, Phil had just returned from a month in Italy where he was enrolled for the second time in an Italian language school.

Known as Dwaine to his family and friends in Ririe, Idaho he attended and graduated from Ririe High School where he was yearbook editor. From his youth, he collected rocks (particularly geodes) and dabbled in art. At the age of 19, he was called to serve an LDS mission in London, England. After an honorable release, he attended and graduated from the University of Utah with a BS degree in psychology and later from the University of California (Los Angeles) with his doctorate. He also had a degree in nursing and in southern California, he worked in the psychiatric unit at St. John’s Hospital. This "friend of Dorothy" eventually moved to San Francisco where he met Harry E. Browning, Jr., a high-powered attorney. They were companions for nearly a dozen years until Harry died from AIDS, at which time the San Francisco Board of Supervisors adjourned for a day in his honor.

Following Harry’s death, Phil relocated to Santa Clarita. When his health began to decline he decided Hawaii’s warm climate might improve his overall condition. On the Big Island - where he was a frequent visitor for more than 20 years - he followed his passion for various art forms. He began slowly with pen-and-ink drawings, then branched out into water colors and oils, but at the time of his death, he had become passionate about block printing. He served twice as president of the local artists guild and was considered a superior leader.

He will be missed as an important member of our family!

Catching Up on Old News: Maxie Goes to Heaven

Just a few weeks short of her 17th birthday on May 25 (that’s about 90 in "dog years"), our Schnauzer Maxie died peacefully in a veterinarian-induced sleep on May 11, 2008. Although Zac is quick to point out he is probably the only grandchild who was never bit by Maxie, we loved her and enjoyed her loyal devotion for many years. She barked excitedly when any of us came home, but she had a special high-pitched bark reserved just for Linda. Maxie especially loved going in the camper and she could always tell the difference between Ed picking up the camper keys and his car keys. When she got into the camper she would jump up into the upper bunk and find her way into the very back corner "hiding" to make sure she got to go along - no matter where we were going! We also smile at the memory of her sleeping with one of the kids or with us - under the covers - until she got too old to climb into bed. She was a good old girl and a devoted member of our family. We miss her!

Halloween Mystery Trip

With Zac here for a visit, there simply HAD to be a Mystery Trip (or two). The first of the day was swimming at the new Wyndham Hotel where the Blacketts (our friends from Logan) were staying. After everyone was dry, we headed out for Staheli Farm and the annual Corn Maize! Such fun . . . we petted the animals (llamas, pigs, horses, goats and other furry critters). The kids enjoyed the mile-high swing and an industrial strength slide! We rode the wagon over to the Corn Maize where we got lost for a while but "followed the light" back to our starting point. Then we got into another wagon and rode out to the Pumpkin Patch where we found a perfect Halloween jack-o-lantern for Taisley. The afternoon was dusty, dirty and expensive, but tons of fun!